By Valentine Palmer, Voice CoachingNo Comments

What is self-confidence?

You only exist as others perceive you.

Think about it. However you feel about yourself, people are going to sense it.

They’re going to pick up the ‘vibe’.

For instance, if you feel truly confident, you’ll project an aura of effortless sureness. You’ll appear to be absolutely sure about who you are and where you’re going.

If you’re really confident, you’ll be sure about what you want to say and how you want to say it. You’ll also give the impression of being able to get what you want.

How to gain self-confidence

If you think you don’t have this kind of ‘sureness’, how do you get to become really confident?

How do you create what you want in your life?

· By knowing exactly what you want.

· By believing that you can have it

· By taking the necessary actions to get what you want.

· By constantly stating it to yourself, as if you already have it.

The Vision Path

The thing you want is your vision and the way you get it is by traveling along your Vision Path.

Truly confident people have a drive and an energy that comes from being absolutely clear where they’re going and being absolutely certain that they’ll get there.

Confidence is contagious. It’s catching. That’s why companies want to employ confident people – they inspire others around them.

When you feel inspired, things start to happen: processes speed up, solutions are created, and objectives are reached with apparent ease.

The secret of how confident people get what they what

Once you experience feeling truly confident, what you want will be in the forefront of your mind all the times. Therefore you’ll be able to create something that never previously existed.

So, always keep in your mind what it is you want – not what it is you are trying to get rid of.

Here’s what you do:

1) You conceive of an idea and then you shape it into a vision.

2) Write down what this vision is.

3) Cut out pictures of the new house you want, the corporate headquarters of the company you want to work for, the car you want, and the garden you’d love to have.

4) Your vision could also be a business plan, a treatment for a movie, an initial blue print for a project, or just an increasingly clearer picture of who you really want to be.

5) Think about your visions daily. The best time to focus on them is first thing in the morning (when your brain is at its most retentive) and last thing at night (when the visions can sink into your sub-conscious while you sleep)

6) Whenever you spend time focused on your visions, see and experience it as if it’s already there, in existence.

7) Experience it for several minutes, feel it, walk around inside it, as it were. Use all your senses to make it appear as real as possible.

The energy you derive from this discipline will begin to shine forth and you’ll be projecting that wonderful aura of sureness and confidence. People will start to say of you, “There goes a really confident person!”


By Valentine Palmer, Voice CoachingNo Comments


Hopes, dreams and visions

The late, great Steve Jobs once said: “Your time is limited. So don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”

He also said: “Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying,

‘We’ve done something wonderful – that’s what matters to me.’

Some people have Hopes, some have Dreams and some have Visions.

What is a hope? It’s when someone says “I hope I get this job.” Or “I hope they buy my product.”

A hope is a nebulous thing. It doesn’t really exist and it has an element of possible failure about it.

A dream can be someone says, “I dream of retiring to a little cottage in the country” Or, “I dream of owning a Ferrari.”

A dream is something that only exists in a dream state. Not in reality.

The word Vision means to see. So a vision is something clearly seen in the mind’s eye. Like an inner movie running. For instance:

“I can see myself in a red Porsche 991 convertible.” Or “I can see myself as the CEO of a successful company.”

There’s the difference!


The secret is never to give up!

Bill Gates and I have something in common. We both dropped out of college. Our professors thought we’d never amount to anything. Well Bill has done really well, but I haven’t dome too badly. And someone else who never did well at school is Winston Churchill, Britain’s war time Prime Minister and the saviour of the nation. Despite his lack of academic success at school, on his 80th Birthday Eaton, the poshest and most expensive school in the country invited him back to address he boys. So thee they all sat, in their silly stiff collars and tail coats, the future rulers of the nation. Then on walked the Great Man. After the tumultuous applause had died down, Sir Winston delivered his message to the future captains of industry and top people.

Never – ever – ever – give up!”

And then he turned and walked off the stage.


Stop thinking of yourself as separate

Different nations, different languages, different belief systems.

Story of the one celled amoeba.


Change your perspective

We are all ruled by our brain and this brain of our is like a sponge. It soaks in data, ideas and opinions from all over the place, from friends, colleagues, teachers, trainers, politicians etc. And none of it is really our own personal opinion. It’s someone else’s agenda.

So, if there’s something you don’t like about your life, your job, your location or whatever, change your perception.

For instance, if you were in an art gallery looking at a piece of modern sculpture it might look a bit like a monkey. But if you moved round to a different position, it might look quite different, more like an old woman. What happened? You changed your position. Most people are wedded to a particular perception of a subject or a person but – if you change your perception, that is look at it from another angle – maybe you’ll see something completely different!

Why the English don’t understand you.

By Valentine Palmer, Voice CoachingNo Comments

Feeling lost in Britain, because people don’t seem to understand you? The English voice isn’t easy to impersonate, because your own native voice will get in the way. The trouble is, your natural accent, which is the tune, tone and rhythm of your learned voice, when you first started to speak, will tend to overlay all the English you try to speak. Consider listening to BBC radio and watching newscasts on British TV, to get the inflections that the speakers use.

Most people who visit Britain from other countries rely on the English that they were taught at school. However, it’s very likely that the person teaching them English wasn’t an English person at all. This means that you may never get the proper way to speak the language. You would be better to listen to recordings of English pronunciation made by true English voices.

However, another challenge you may have with the language is that, although Britain is very small, you can fit it into India 12 times over, the influence of her language is felt everywhere in the world, on the Internet, in aviation and big business. That is why English is spoken by one billion people around the world. But learning to speak it so that everyone in Britain can understand you, is another matter. Many English people place their voice in a particular part of the face. It tends to be further forward and lower down than in many other countries. Is your voice far back? Above all, do you speak very fast and with your mouth not wide open? All these simple things can contribute to you not being understood and a few simple exercises can help to overcome these qualities that are making it hard for English people to understand you.

What women want in a man’s voice

By Valentine Palmer, Voice CoachingOne Comment

How seriously do you take your voice? And especially, how seriously do you take your voice when you are going on a first date? Women are impressed by looks, but only up to a point. What really turns them on, gets them seriously interested in you, is the quality of your voice. Women love a voice that is confident, a voice that is charming, a voice than makes them feel as if they’re the only woman in the world.

Women want a voice that is masculine, but not aggressive or overbearing. Your voice needs to have a quality of warmth, caring and friendship about it. So, be sure to get enough breath in, because the more breath behind your voice when you speak, then the warmer your voice will sound.

Make sure that you’re fully relaxed before you meet her. Not easy, I know, but do try. A voice that is nervous moves up higher in the head, as the vocal cords tighten. The more relaxed you are, the more your cords will relax, and your voice can move lower down into your chest. Breath deep, control your voice and keep it low.

So, deep but not threatening. That’s what a woman wants in a man’s voice.